{"id":9854,"date":"2021-04-15T09:00:00","date_gmt":"2021-04-15T09:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lafayettepark.org\/staging_5\/?p=9854"},"modified":"2021-09-07T00:11:43","modified_gmt":"2021-09-07T00:11:43","slug":"flat-as-a-pancake","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lafayettepark.org\/staging_5\/flat-as-a-pancake\/","title":{"rendered":"FLAT AS A PANCAKE"},"content":{"rendered":"

BY\u00a0KIERAN LINDSEY, PhD<\/a><\/span><\/strong><\/h4>\n

Ever notice how many of the colloquialisms we use for comparisons aren\u2019t all that apropos, or even true?\u00a0 Like\u2026<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u2013\u00a0 graceful as a swan (have you ever seen one on land?)<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u2013\u00a0 dull as ditchwater (believe me, that liquid is lively at the microbial level)<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u2013\u00a0 happy as a clam (surely not all clams are cheerful, especially when yanked out of their bed for an impromptu dinner invitation)<\/h4>\n

So forgive me for making an obvious, if not completely accurate, correlation between North American softshell turtles and pancakes. True, these aquatic reptiles aren\u2019t literally as round and flat as flapjacks\u2026 then again, not every<\/em> flour-based breakfast food cooked on a griddle is invariably spherical and level.<\/h4>\n

My home town of St. Louis, Missouri, is home to two softshell species \u2014 the Eastern Spiny Softshell (Apalone spinifera<\/em>), and the Midland Smooth Softshell (Apalone mutica<\/em>).\u00a0 Both are members of the Apalone<\/em> genus, both are aquatic, they\u2019re circular in shape (or at least an oval), and both are more horizontal than vertical (although varying in size and thickness).<\/h4>\n

\"\"Six subspecies of spiny softshells pour across the central U.S. states, spread into Canada (Ontario and Quebec), and dribble into Mexico (Tamaulipas, Nuevo, Le\u00f3n, Coahulla, and Chihuahua), yet these Midwesterners resemble the European style of round, thin unleavened hotcakes. Their common and scientific names refer to pointy cone-shaped knobs on the leading edge of the body\u2019s rim. Juveniles and adult males are batter-yellow to olive-green and splattered with maple syrup brown spots, while females darken to mottled molasses as they age. Males widen to salad plate circumference of 5 to 9\u00bd inches (13-24 cm), and you can double that to dinner or large charger plate (9\u00bd to 19 inches or 24-48 cm) for the average size of a female spiny.<\/h4>\n

\"\"Two subspecies of smooth softshells are also indigenous to the central and south-central river basins of North America, although their range is constrained to the U.S., stretching from North Dakota south to Louisiana, New Mexico east to Tennessee. Both males and females have a somewhat fluffier figure befitting a blintz<\/em> or some buttermilks. Males broaden to saucer size (5 to 7 inches or\u00a0 13-18 cm in diameter), while females are twice again that expansive (7 to 14 inches or 18-35 cm). The two sexes differ in color as well \u2013 females tend to be beef stock brown or olive, males and juveniles tend toward olive-drab\u00a0 \u2013 but all are flecked with dark brown bits of random shapes and sizes.<\/h4>\n

\"\"The Florida softshell (Apalone ferox<\/em>) is native to four southeastern U.S. states \u2013 Alabama, Florida (no surprise there), Georgia, and South Carolina. In keeping with the region\u2019s dietary reputation, this species is suitably supersized, more Belgian waffle than cr\u00eape<\/em>. Males measure up at 6 to 13 in (15-33 cm), and females are 3-5 times larger (11 to 25 inches or 28-63 cm). Juveniles have a cornmeal yellow margin on top and vary in hue from chartreuse to baguette tan to pretzel brown, with a plummy gray to blackened base.\u00a0 By adulthood, their exterior is wrinkled and oblong, and has faded to variegated walnut brown or caper green above, and parchment paper white below.<\/h4>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

What all three of these turtles have in common, with each other and their fellow members of the Trionychidae family, is a preference for the life aquatic, and a pliable, al dente <\/em>carapace instead of the rigid scales of, say, an Eastern box turtle<\/a>. Not that a soft shell is required for a turtle to live submerged, as ably demonstrated by the red-eared slider<\/a>. Even so, the silky smooth nappe<\/em> of the Apalone<\/em> trio provides a speed and agility advantage over the starchy domed cro\u00fbte<\/em> of their cumbersome kin \u2014 whether moving through water, along the muddy or sandy bottoms of rivers and lakes, or even on land.<\/h4>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Softshells also have an elongated neck. When extended, and affixed as it is to the disk-shaped carapace, one can\u2019t help but be reminded of a skillet handle. The lengthy neck is an anatomical adaptation that allows these turtles to sink into a mud or sand substrate and yet continue to breath through their tubular, ziti<\/em>-like nostrils while immersed in a foot or more of water, waiting for their next meal.<\/h4>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Stealth is not their only dinnertime strategy, though. Apalone<\/em> turtles are speedy swimmers who will pursue prey.\u00a0 Smooth, spiny, and Florida species are all predominantly meat-eaters, subsisting on fish, frogs, mollusks, crustaceans, and other invertebrates, as well as birds and small mammals when they appear on the menu. They\u2019ll also include an occasional side-dish of algae or aquatic vegetation.\u00a0<\/strong><\/h4>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

You know, on second thought, maybe the food analogy I\u2019ve been using throughout this post is rather insensitive because Homo sapiens<\/em> have long considered softshell turtles a culinary delicacy.<\/h4>\n

Demand in East Asia, in particular, has increased pressure on North American species. Back in 2008, the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission estimated an average of 3,000 pounds of softshells were being exported out of the Tampa International Airport alone each week.<\/h4>\n

In 2009, in response to environmental groups and growing demand from abroad, the Florida Commission reduced the daily limit of wild-caught turtles from 20 per day per licensed harvester, to one turtle per person per day, prohibited harvesting of softshells from May through July, and banned trade in wild-caught turtles. A few other states have followed suit. Laws are definitely a step in the right direction\u2026 but not a cure-all, especially in an age when the Internet truly globalizes commerce and, it has to be said, facilitates black market trade of all manner of bush meat.<\/h4>\n

That said, softshells are carnivores, too, so surely they understand that this is an eat and be eaten world. It simply isn\u2019t possible to be alive and not have a footprint. This is a finite planet, though, and that\u2019s a fact often ignored by my own species, singular in its amplification of calorie consumption from need to greed. We humans ignore this reality at our own peril, and if we fail to respect the limitations of our food resources we may one day find the cupboard is bare.<\/h4>\n

Food for thought.<\/h4>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n
\n

\u00a9 2020 Next-Door Nature\u2014no reprints without written permission from the author (I\u2019d love for you to share my work; all you have to do is ask). Thanks to these photographers for making their work available through a Creative Commons license: Peter Paplanus<\/span><\/a>, Sam Stukel USFWS Mountain-Prairie<\/span><\/a>, Todd Pierson<\/a><\/span>, RW Sinclair<\/span><\/a>, J. Maughn<\/a><\/span>, Kenneth Cole Schneider<\/span><\/a>, Kenneth Cole Schneider<\/span><\/a>, Jan Stefka<\/a><\/span>, and Lucy Mills<\/span><\/a>.<\/h4>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/h4>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/h4>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/h4>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

BY\u00a0KIERAN LINDSEY, PhD Ever notice how many of the colloquialisms we use for comparisons aren\u2019t all that apropos, or even true?\u00a0 Like\u2026 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u2013\u00a0 graceful as a swan (have you […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":9855,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"

BY KIERAN LINDSEY, PhD<\/a><\/span><\/strong><\/h4>\n

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, we\u2019re twenty years into the Information Age so I\u2019m pretty sure everyone in this courtroom knows that, to quote a famous New Yorker <\/em>cartoon, \u201cOn the Internet, nobody knows you\u2019re a dog.\u201d The anonymity baked into the the interwebs means we\u2019re all free to be whatever, or whomever, we want to virtually be\u2026 even if we want to be someone else.<\/h4>\n

Identity theft may seem like a new and viral meme, but I assure you, creating a counterfeit profile is a prehistoric trope. It\u2019s older than Dick Whitman snagging Don Draper\u2019s dog tag in Mad Men (2007).  Older than Mrs. Doubtfire\u2019s dad-turned-nanny (1993). Older than the King of Ruritania\u2019s body-double in The Prisoner of Zenda (1894). Older, even, than the sibling-switch of Esau and Jacob in the Book of Genesis (6th century BC).<\/h4>\n

No, we need to travel even further back in time\u2014way, way back\u2014to the Pennsylvanian epoch over 300 million years ago, and what must surely be the first, the most diabolically devious, the most indelible stolen guise in the entire history of Planet Earth.<\/h4>\n

I intend to demonstrate, beyond any doubt (reasonable or otherwise), that the defendant\u2014Armadillidium vulgare<\/em>, aka \u201cpillbug\u201d\u2014is an imposter!<\/h4>\n
\"\"You already know he\u2019s a shape-shifter. Thanks to a body composed of overlapping plates he\u2019s a skilled conglobator\u2014transforming at a moment\u2019s notice from a scurrying, nearly two-dimensional, thumbnail-sized oval into an almost perfectly symmetrical 3D sphere. This is no parlor game, folks.  Crumpling to the size of a baby aspirin is a prescription for prevention of detection by those who would expose his true nature. (It also limits dehydration, but I digress).<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Don\u2019t be fooled by this roly-poly fellow\u2019s non-threatening demeanor and diminutive stature. His rap sheet is a phone directory\u2019s worth of aliases: pillbug, wood bug, pea bug, potato bug, and doodlebug, to name only a few\u2026 but he is NOT a bug.<\/div>\n

That\u2019s right, this armored charlatan may claim to be kin to bedbugs, ladybugs, mealybugs, spittle bugs, stinkbugs, and other insects whose identities he has appropriated, but take a closer look and even without a DNA analysis the evidence is indisputable.<\/h4>\n

Exhibit #1:<\/strong>  Insects have a single pair of antennae. If the defendant would untuck enough to show his face to members of the jury, you would see that he has not one, but TWO pair of antennae.<\/h4>\n

Exhibit #2:<\/strong>  Insects have 3 pairs of jointed legs, clustered on the thorax. The defendant has 7 pairs of jointed legs\u2014one pair for each of the 7 segments that constitute his torso. But don\u2019t take my word for it\u2014count them yourselves.<\/h4>\n

\"\"Exhibit #3:<\/strong> As adults, insects breathe using a system of apertures and tubes called spiracles and tracheae, respectively. The defendant\u2014who, while not aquatic is clearly in some legal hot water here\u2014breathes using gill-like structures.<\/h4>\n

Exhibit #4: <\/strong> True bugs have piercing and sucking mouth-parts that place them in an insect league of their own. The defendant has no such anatomical features.  Just look\u2014he\u2019s not even able to use a straw!<\/h4>\n

Exhibit  #5:<\/strong>  Speaking of drinking\u2026 insect have a waxy, water-resistant epicuticle that deters desiccation. The defendant does not, which leads me to wonder if his repeated requests for a glass of water are due to the dry air in this courtroom, or a case of nerves born of a guilty conscience?<\/h4>\n

Exhibit #6:<\/strong> No courtroom drama would be complete without a reference to sex so let\u2019s talk about reproduction. Insects employ a diverse set of parenting strategies, including: oviparity<\/em> (eggs are deposited and develop outside the female\u2019s body); ovoviparity<\/em> (eggs develop inside the female\u2019s body and hatch immediately after being laid); and even viviparity<\/em> (young gestate inside the female and are born, not hatched). But the one strategy insects do NOT use is the marsupium<\/em>. That\u2019s right, a pouch tucked under the thorax in which newly hatched young develop until they are old enough to venture out into the world on their own\u2026 a pouch just like the one you would find on the defendant\u2019s own mother!<\/h4>\n

Members of the jury, the facts speak for themselves. The phony before you is not a bug. He has far more in common with a shrimp, a crab, or a lobster than any insect. Literally. Because this common pillbug is, in reality\u2026<\/h4>\n

\u2026a terrestrial CRUSTACEAN!!<\/em><\/h4>\n

[Audible gasps from the courtroom audience]<\/em><\/h4>\n

Your Honor, the prosecution rests.<\/h4>\n
\"\"<\/div>\n\n
\n\n

\u00a9 2010 <\/em>Next-Door Nature. Thanks to the photographers who granted permission to use their photos, and to those who made their work available through the Creative Commons license: Alan Howell<\/a><\/span>, Andy Purviance<\/a><\/span>, Brian Gratwicke<\/a><\/span>, and Dany Sternfeld<\/a><\/span>.<\/em><\/h4>","_et_gb_content_width":"","_EventAllDay":false,"_EventTimezone":"","_EventStartDate":"","_EventEndDate":"","_EventStartDateUTC":"","_EventEndDateUTC":"","_EventShowMap":false,"_EventShowMapLink":false,"_EventURL":"","_EventCost":"","_EventCostDescription":"","_EventCurrencySymbol":"","_EventCurrencyCode":"","_EventCurrencyPosition":"","_EventDateTimeSeparator":"","_EventTimeRangeSeparator":"","_EventOrganizerID":[],"_EventVenueID":0,"_OrganizerEmail":"","_OrganizerPhone":"","_OrganizerWebsite":"","_VenueAddress":"","_VenueCity":"","_VenueCountry":"","_VenueProvince":"","_VenueZip":"","_VenuePhone":"","_VenueURL":"","_VenueStateProvince":"","_VenueLat":"","_VenueLng":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[426,16],"tags":[448,446,444,445,25,443,473,23,41,451,31,12,115,449,32,452,450,116,117,14,57],"class_list":["post-9854","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-reptiles","category-wildlife","tag-apalone-mutica","tag-apalone-spinifera","tag-apalone-spp","tag-aquatic-nature","tag-biology","tag-eastern-spiny-softshell-turtle","tag-ferox","tag-flora-and-fauna","tag-hidden-nature","tag-midland-smooth-softshell-turtle","tag-natural-history","tag-nature","tag-reptiles-and-amphibians","tag-softshell-turtles","tag-suburban-wildlife","tag-testudines","tag-trionychidae","tag-turtle","tag-turtles","tag-urban-wildlife","tag-wildlife-watching"],"yoast_head":"\nFLAT AS A PANCAKE - Lafayette Park Conservancy<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.lafayettepark.org\/staging_5\/flat-as-a-pancake\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"FLAT AS A PANCAKE - Lafayette Park Conservancy\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"BY\u00a0KIERAN LINDSEY, PhD Ever notice how many of the colloquialisms we use for comparisons aren\u2019t all that apropos, or even true?\u00a0 Like\u2026 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u2013\u00a0 graceful as a swan (have you […]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.lafayettepark.org\/staging_5\/flat-as-a-pancake\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Lafayette Park Conservancy\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2021-04-15T09:00:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-09-07T00:11:43+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.lafayettepark.org\/staging_5\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/eastern-spiny-softshell-turtle-by-Peter-Paplanus-CCL-by-2.0.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"2038\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"934\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Kieran Lindsey\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Kieran Lindsey\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"7 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lafayettepark.org\/staging_5\/flat-as-a-pancake\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.lafayettepark.org\/staging_5\/flat-as-a-pancake\/\",\"name\":\"FLAT AS A PANCAKE - Lafayette Park Conservancy\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lafayettepark.org\/staging_5\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2021-04-15T09:00:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-09-07T00:11:43+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lafayettepark.org\/staging_5\/#\/schema\/person\/2cba4be97295c0df84ef191866513038\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lafayettepark.org\/staging_5\/flat-as-a-pancake\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.lafayettepark.org\/staging_5\/flat-as-a-pancake\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lafayettepark.org\/staging_5\/flat-as-a-pancake\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.lafayettepark.org\/staging_5\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"FLAT AS A PANCAKE\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lafayettepark.org\/staging_5\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.lafayettepark.org\/staging_5\/\",\"name\":\"Lafayette Park Conservancy\",\"description\":\"Oldest Urban Park West of the Mississippi\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.lafayettepark.org\/staging_5\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lafayettepark.org\/staging_5\/#\/schema\/person\/2cba4be97295c0df84ef191866513038\",\"name\":\"Kieran Lindsey\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lafayettepark.org\/staging_5\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/709fa3f0f7f4fb352a687ea886ec2d0d9925cea24e7fd75e630a82a339d94fe9?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/709fa3f0f7f4fb352a687ea886ec2d0d9925cea24e7fd75e630a82a339d94fe9?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Kieran Lindsey\"},\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.lafayettepark.org\/staging_5\/author\/kieran-lindsey\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"FLAT AS A PANCAKE - Lafayette Park Conservancy","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.lafayettepark.org\/staging_5\/flat-as-a-pancake\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"FLAT AS A PANCAKE - Lafayette Park Conservancy","og_description":"BY\u00a0KIERAN LINDSEY, PhD Ever notice how many of the colloquialisms we use for comparisons aren\u2019t all that apropos, or even true?\u00a0 Like\u2026 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u2013\u00a0 graceful as a swan (have you […]","og_url":"https:\/\/www.lafayettepark.org\/staging_5\/flat-as-a-pancake\/","og_site_name":"Lafayette Park Conservancy","article_published_time":"2021-04-15T09:00:00+00:00","article_modified_time":"2021-09-07T00:11:43+00:00","og_image":[{"width":2038,"height":934,"url":"https:\/\/www.lafayettepark.org\/staging_5\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/eastern-spiny-softshell-turtle-by-Peter-Paplanus-CCL-by-2.0.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Kieran Lindsey","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Kieran Lindsey","Est. reading time":"7 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.lafayettepark.org\/staging_5\/flat-as-a-pancake\/","url":"https:\/\/www.lafayettepark.org\/staging_5\/flat-as-a-pancake\/","name":"FLAT AS A PANCAKE - Lafayette Park Conservancy","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.lafayettepark.org\/staging_5\/#website"},"datePublished":"2021-04-15T09:00:00+00:00","dateModified":"2021-09-07T00:11:43+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.lafayettepark.org\/staging_5\/#\/schema\/person\/2cba4be97295c0df84ef191866513038"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.lafayettepark.org\/staging_5\/flat-as-a-pancake\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.lafayettepark.org\/staging_5\/flat-as-a-pancake\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.lafayettepark.org\/staging_5\/flat-as-a-pancake\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.lafayettepark.org\/staging_5\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"FLAT AS A PANCAKE"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.lafayettepark.org\/staging_5\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.lafayettepark.org\/staging_5\/","name":"Lafayette Park Conservancy","description":"Oldest Urban Park West of the Mississippi","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.lafayettepark.org\/staging_5\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.lafayettepark.org\/staging_5\/#\/schema\/person\/2cba4be97295c0df84ef191866513038","name":"Kieran Lindsey","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.lafayettepark.org\/staging_5\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/709fa3f0f7f4fb352a687ea886ec2d0d9925cea24e7fd75e630a82a339d94fe9?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/709fa3f0f7f4fb352a687ea886ec2d0d9925cea24e7fd75e630a82a339d94fe9?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Kieran Lindsey"},"url":"https:\/\/www.lafayettepark.org\/staging_5\/author\/kieran-lindsey\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lafayettepark.org\/staging_5\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9854","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lafayettepark.org\/staging_5\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lafayettepark.org\/staging_5\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lafayettepark.org\/staging_5\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lafayettepark.org\/staging_5\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9854"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.lafayettepark.org\/staging_5\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9854\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9865,"href":"https:\/\/www.lafayettepark.org\/staging_5\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9854\/revisions\/9865"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lafayettepark.org\/staging_5\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9855"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lafayettepark.org\/staging_5\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9854"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lafayettepark.org\/staging_5\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9854"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lafayettepark.org\/staging_5\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9854"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}